25
Dec

7 Savage Things People Have Done To Brand New Yeezys

We’ve all seen some gruesome things in our life, but none as terrible and unseeable as what you’re about to view. We can’t believe we live in the same world as the people who have copped brand new Yeezys only to destroy them. May Yeezus frown down upon you! Here are 7 of the saddest, most savage things people have done with their brand new Yeezys, for the hell of it! Warning: Reader discretion advised.

#1 Making face masks out of Yeezys

Zhijun Wang is a designer based in Beijing, where air pollution is a citywide issue. Instead of wearing Yeezys on feet, he creates sneaker face masks. Can’t deny that it’s a cool statement. However, this requires actually taking real Yeezys and cutting them up! The atrocity! MoMA New York has his Yeezy Beluga face mask on display until January 28th, 2018.

#2 Cutting Yeezys like they’re just a piece of meat

YouTuber of the channel “What’s Inside”, cut through his brand new Turtle Doves, just to see what’s inside. If your heart can handle it, watch this video to see him sawing through it to reveal the layers of Boost.

Dan from What’s Inside isn’t the only one cutting through Yeezys, but at least he had a reason! Sean Wotherspoon, who dipped his Supreme x Jordan Vs in red paint, cut his new Yeezys in half just hours after they released.  For what? Attention? He even used the Supreme knife to dissect the Yeezy!
adidas-Yeezy-Boost-350-12

adidas-Yeezy-Boost-350-22

#3 Freezing Yeezys in Liquid Nitrogen

We kid you not, this actually happened. One YouTuber, Mahrun Karkvandeian, was so over the hype of these shoes that he felt like he needed to take a stand to kill the hype once and for all. For his statement to be made, he recorded a video of himself dipping his Yeezy 750s into homemade liquid nitrogen and then smashed them with a sledgehammer. And as if that wasn’t enough, he torched his 750 into ashes. He didn’t stop just there, he also has a video where he heartlessly tortures a pair of 350s until finally burning them at the end.freezing new yeezys

#4 Destroying new Yeezys with a Flamethrower

As if it weren’t hard enough seeing Karkvandian freeze, smash and burn his Yeezys, two kids and the third behind the camera just poured lighter fluid all over their brand new Yeezys and set fire to them with a flamethrower. But why? The black and crispy condition of the shoes a the end of the video reminds me of the supposedly burned bodies of Bran and Rickon in GoT. Smh.

#5 Exploiting and abusing new Yeezys for the sake of advertisement

Crep, you are the devil!!! Crep ruined these Yeezys, for a short while before restoring them to their original condition. Although no Yeezys were permanently harmed during these experiments, it’s still painful to watch! *sobs in the corner*sad new yeezys 1

sad new yeezys

#6 Doing intense sports in Yeezys

I mean, if you pay so much for a pair of sneakers, you might as well expect them to be durable enough to run in, right? Wrong. This one dude went running in his Pirate Blacks and the primeknit just tore off the Boost. But you shouldn’t run in Yeezys, they’re not sports shoes. They’re a lifestyle sneaker, casual day-to-day wear for the streets, not for the gym!

adidas-yeezy-boost-350-pirate-black

#7 Ruining Yeezys for absolutely no good cause!

Brothers, Tobi and Fabian made a video of themselves ruining a perfect Yeezy shoe by covering them in mustard, spinach yogurt dip, lemon juice and then coke. The saddest thing is that they’re not the only ones to soak their Yeezys in random things.

YouTuber, NameBran, has soaked and dipped Yeezys into all kinds of fluids from whiskey and wine, to pumpkin spice lattes, Pepto-Bismol, green jello and so much more. Bran has even bleached his Yeezys. This guy has gone as far as deep frying them- for the sake of the internet! For the safety of Yeezys, we pray the ones he had were fakes.deep-fried-shoes-video

Bonus!

Just because you had to see all the excruciatingly terrible things people have done with their brand new Yeezys, we think you deserve to see this fluffy doggy in Yeezys. So, maybe you’d think it’s a sad thing that the owner would put a cute dog into his new Yeezys, but we think it’s awesome! Kanye should make Yeezys in puppy sizes!

Dog in new Yeezys 2

Dog in new Yeezys

More sad photos of ruined Yeezys:

black painte yeezys

An artist in New York decided this was OK.

coloring new yeezys

Remember the Yeezy Mafia highlight your Zebra challenge?

dead new yeezys

When you’re undeserving of wearing these on your feet.

more sad new yeezys

Please leave Yeezys out of your experiments.

muddy new yeezys

Facepalm.

Sneakerheads, you’ve just witnessed thousands of dollars being thrown wasted! It’s not like they’re as easy to come by as the Beluga 2.0s! Moving on… we do not claim ownership of any of these photographs. We would never harm a Yeezy. But if you know someone who would, please take them to therapy before they unjustifiably destroy another sole.

14
Dec

Hype Demon’s Apprentice 6-6-6 Guide to Copping Yeezys Manually Online

Not to add salt to the wound or anything, but two fine Yeezys came out in November and you probably copped none. Not saying it’s your fault; copping Yeezys is no easy task, even for a hype demon. Plus, it could be bewildering if you’re a beginner in this wicked sneaker game. To be fair (yes even a demon can be fair sometimes), the Yebras, Semi Frozen Yellows, Yeezy McChickens, or whatever you want to call them, were the most limited V2s ever. But what’s your excuse for the Beluga 2.0s? Those were densely stocked, son. SMH. However, now we’re not too far away from the Yeezy Boost 350 V2 Blue Tints. You know what they say, third time’s a charm. Are you willing to learn a my favorite deadly tricks for copping Yeezys? This is my Apprentice 6-6-6 guide to copping Yeezys manually online.

6 Step Preparation for Copping Yeezys Manually on Release Day

Copping Yeezys isn’t as complex and labyrinthine as many like to put it. All it takes is some damn research and preparatory measures, but no one seems ready for that. What if I told you it’s not as frightening as you may think?

#1 GATHER AS MANY WIFI-ENABLED DEVICES AS YOU CAN

If you have to, bribe your friends with free food at your place, and let ‘em bring their laptops and cell-phones. Let copping Yeezys become an event!

 

#2 MAKE SURE YOUR INTERNET SPEED IS THE BEAST OF BEASTS

Ask your provider to give you an upgrade to the highest internet speed there is.

 

#3 GET YOURSELF A SNEAKER SERVER THAT’S OPTIMIZED FOR THE RELEASE

The world has got some darling individuals who designate servers a near as possible to cop sites like Adidas. Using a server improves your connection to the sneaker sites you want to cop from.

 

#4 HIDE YOUR BLOODY IP ADDRESS, FOR THE LOVE OF THE DEVIL!

Do you want to get your ass banned? No. So invest in some private proxies. As many as the devices, you’ve gathered. Make sure they’re located in the same country you want to cop from, and near the server you got.

 

#5 AUTO-FILL YOUR BILLING AND SHIPPING INFORMATION IN GOOGLE CHROME

Reminder: You’re going to need different credit card information for each device you have. Ask your friends, your parents, your grandparents, even get new cards from other banks. Do what you gotta do to have as many cards as you can, because that’ll increase your chances tremendously.

#6 PRACTICE SOLVING CAPTCHAS

You heard me my G. If you want to get good at copping Yeezys, you need to get good at solving captchas. Even let your friends and family solve ‘em with you on other devices when you get through to the product page.

Copping Yeezys

Ugh! Just look at them. Imagine rocking these bad boys.

6 Steps for Release Day on Adidas

#1 LISTEN TO KANYE

Wake up early and start your day by getting yourself in the right mood for copping Yeezys. Get that cup of coffee, tea, or any drink that gets you energized. Don’t drink too much though, because you don’t have time for a pee break.

 

#2 REFRESH YOUR BROWSER, THEN DON’T

Before you enter the “waiting room”, you will need to refresh the Adidas website’s splash page as often as you can. But once you’re in the queue for your Yeezys DO NOT REFRESH. I repeat, DO NOT REFRESH! A lot of copping engines get passed the splash page directly into the “waiting room”.

 

#3 PRODUCT PAGE

Here, you’ll need to be extremely quick. On each device, you only have one chance. It’s do or die. Simple three things to do: (1) Select your desired size. (2) Solve the captcha. (3) Add to cart.

 

#4 REVIEW THAT AUTO-FILLED INFORMATION

Make sure that all the required information is there. One wrong or missing letter can be fatal. Recheck your billing information and shipping address. Make sure that no same card is being used more than once.

 

#5 CHECKOUT

Breathe heavily into a paper bag if you have to.

 

#6 GET YOUR CONFIRMATION EMAIL AND THAT’S IT!

The process of copping Yeezys is never complete until you receive a confirmation of purchase/ shipment email.

 

Is it time for me to say, “Godspeed”?  *smirk*

 

6 Hype Demon’s Post-Release Day Advice Tips

 

Didn’t cop this time?

Tip 1: Don’t be a baby about it. Figure out what went wrong for next time.

 

Copped more than enough pairs?

Tip 2: Sell the rest online for more than they’re worth! That’s pure evil, just the way I like it! Or, well, if you’re feeling charitable, give some pairs away….. Or you can bribe someone for a pair, teehee.

 

Floating on clouds because you copped?

Tip 3: Thank the generous friends and family who helped you out.

 

Think you’ve become a copping Yeezys pro?

Tip 4: Share your experience. Write a blog. Make a YouTube video. Do something useful.

 

Interested in the next release?

Tip 5: Remember, just because you got lucky once doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get lucky copping Yeezys. 

 

Learning about other copping methods?

Tip 6: You may want to make and upgrade to your copping method depending on how many pairs you want to cop. Adding a copping engine to the mix is a great way to do that.

 

Despite all these sinister and foolproof tricks, a lot of people have sold their souls and resorted to using copping engines. That’s funny because they sold their souls for the soles. See what I did there? Am I the only one who finds that funny?

Anyway, copping engines can drastically increase a person’s chances at copping Yeezys in a stress-free manner. The cool thing is that these engines can work independently after being prepped and started correctly. Less work, more Yeezys.

 

Grand Finale

This guide better have helped you in some way. It took some effort to write this down for you, while I could have been out doing something else. Maybe I’ll go have some well-deserved me-time right now. DEMON OUT. *mic drop*