Not to add salt to the wound or anything, but two fine Yeezys came out in November and you probably copped none. Not saying it’s your fault; copping Yeezys is no easy task, even for a hype demon. Plus, it could be bewildering if you’re a beginner in this wicked sneaker game. To be fair (yes even a demon can be fair sometimes), the Yebras, Semi Frozen Yellows, Yeezy McChickens, or whatever you want to call them, were the most limited V2s ever. But what’s your excuse for the Beluga 2.0s? Those were densely stocked, son. SMH. However, now we’re not too far away from the Yeezy Boost 350 V2 Blue Tints. You know what they say, third time’s a charm. Are you willing to learn a my favorite deadly tricks for copping Yeezys? This is my Apprentice 6-6-6 guide to copping Yeezys manually online.

6 Step Preparation for Copping Yeezys Manually on Release Day

Copping Yeezys isn’t as complex and labyrinthine as many like to put it. All it takes is some damn research and preparatory measures, but no one seems ready for that. What if I told you it’s not as frightening as you may think?

#1 GATHER AS MANY WIFI-ENABLED DEVICES AS YOU CAN

If you have to, bribe your friends with free food at your place, and let ‘em bring their laptops and cell-phones. Let copping Yeezys become an event!

#2 MAKE SURE YOUR INTERNET SPEED IS THE BEAST OF BEASTS

Ask your provider to give you an upgrade to the highest internet speed there is.

#3 GET YOURSELF A SNEAKER SERVER THAT’S OPTIMIZED FOR THE RELEASE

The world has got some darling individuals who designate servers a near as possible to cop sites like Adidas. Using a server improves your connection to the sneaker sites you want to cop from.

#4 HIDE YOUR BLOODY IP ADDRESS, FOR THE LOVE OF THE DEVIL!

Do you want to get your ass banned? No. So invest in some private proxies. As many as the devices, you’ve gathered. Make sure they’re located in the same country you want to cop from, and near the server you got.

#5 AUTO-FILL YOUR BILLING AND SHIPPING INFORMATION IN GOOGLE CHROME

Reminder: You’re going to need different credit card information for each device you have. Ask your friends, your parents, your grandparents, even get new cards from other banks. Do what you gotta do to have as many cards as you can, because that’ll increase your chances tremendously.

#6 PRACTICE SOLVING CAPTCHAS

You heard me my G. If you want to get good at copping Yeezys, you need to get good at solving captchas. Even let your friends and family solve ‘em with you on other devices when you get through to the product page.

Ugh! Just look at them. Imagine rocking these bad boys.

6 Steps for Release Day on Adidas

#1 LISTEN TO KANYE

Wake up early and start your day by getting yourself in the right mood for copping Yeezys. Get that cup of coffee, tea, or any drink that gets you energized. Don’t drink too much though, because you don’t have time for a pee break.

#2 REFRESH YOUR BROWSER, THEN DON’T

Before you enter the “waiting room”, you will need to refresh the Adidas website’s splash page as often as you can. But once you’re in the queue for your Yeezys DO NOT REFRESH. I repeat, DO NOT REFRESH! A lot of copping engines get passed the splash page directly into the “waiting room”.

#3 PRODUCT PAGE

Here, you’ll need to be extremely quick. On each device, you only have one chance. It’s do or die. Simple three things to do: (1) Select your desired size. (2) Solve the captcha. (3) Add to cart.

#4 REVIEW THAT AUTO-FILLED INFORMATION

Make sure that all the required information is there. One wrong or missing letter can be fatal. Recheck your billing information and shipping address. Make sure that no same card is being used more than once.

#5 CHECKOUT

Breathe heavily into a paper bag if you have to.

#6 GET YOUR CONFIRMATION EMAIL AND THAT’S IT!

The process of copping Yeezys is never complete until you receive a confirmation of purchase/ shipment email.

Is it time for me to say, “Godspeed”?  *smirk*

6 Hype Demon’s Post-Release Day Advice Tips

Didn’t cop this time?

Tip 1: Don’t be a baby about it. Figure out what went wrong for next time.

Copped more than enough pairs?

Tip 2: Sell the rest online for more than they’re worth! That’s pure evil, just the way I like it! Or, well, if you’re feeling charitable, give some pairs away….. Or you can bribe someone for a pair, teehee.

Floating on clouds because you copped?

Tip 3: Thank the generous friends and family who helped you out.

Think you’ve become a copping Yeezys pro?

Tip 4: Share your experience. Write a blog. Make a YouTube video. Do something useful.

Interested in the next release?

Tip 5: Remember, just because you got lucky once doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get lucky copping Yeezys. 

Learning about other copping methods?

Tip 6: You may want to make and upgrade to your copping method depending on how many pairs you want to cop. Adding a copping engine to the mix is a great way to do that.

Despite all these sinister and foolproof tricks, a lot of people have sold their souls and resorted to using copping engines. That’s funny because they sold their souls for the soles. See what I did there? Am I the only one who finds that funny?

Anyway, copping engines can drastically increase a person’s chances at copping Yeezys in a stress-free manner. The cool thing is that these engines can work independently after being prepped and started correctly. Less work, more Yeezys.

Grand Finale

This guide better have helped you in some way. It took some effort to write this down for you, while I could have been out doing something else. Maybe I’ll go have some well-deserved me-time right now. DEMON OUT. *mic drop*